The Single Worst Thing For Sale™: C2E2 2014 275 Days Late Edition!

 And in that moment, his unblinking gaze burrowed into my soul...

And in that moment, his unblinking gaze burrowed into my soul...

 and saw the end of my life, and the end of all life...

and saw the end of my life, and the end of all life...

 for the blood was already on his hands.

for the blood was already on his hands.

Wow.  That got a little weird.  But, as per usual around these parts, if I'm not sleeping, no one is sleeping.

This post got off on the wrong foot.  We need a little pick-me-up.  Something light hearted.  Fortunately we have our good friend Bootleg Mickey to cheer us up!

  That's the spirit  Bootleg Mickey!

That's the spirit Bootleg Mickey!

275.  That's the number of day's since C2E2 2014.  When Wizard World 2013 ended, I needed a breather, so I took a year off.  I quit my job, packed the world's worst comic book collection securely into my backpack, and left the country.  I spent the year shuffling around Europe, finding the Single Worst Thing For Sale in bodegas, festivals, and cafes, all while on my parents' dime.  The experience was life changing.  Of course none of this actually happened.  I was here the whole time and too damn lazy to write this post.

And I wasn't going to.  That is until a big fan confronted me in the streets.  'Hey, are you @legoomba?  I hate your fucking guts!  Go get hit by a bus you sack of shit.'  After the brick he threw grazed my shoulder I thought, 'You're right, big fan.  I should finally write my C2E2 2014 post!'

This is all over the place.  I gotta right this ship.  How about we start with some pending child abuse?

 Cruisin' for a bruisin'

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

Just kidding.  Mr. T wouldn't hurt another living creature.  Unless it's deciduous of course.

I don't know who said it first, but it's never been truer: the best things in life are five dollars and come complete with 24 trivia cards.

 The real mystery starts when you try to find a VCR to play this.

The real mystery starts when you try to find a VCR to play this.

I'm a sucker for anything with a Post It note for a price sticker, and requires a VCR.

There are times though where antiquated technology just isn't enough.  It's those times where I need the unambiguous.  Something that just lays it all out there and let's me know exactly where a toy stands.

 Not pictured: The Just Misunderstood Guys

Not pictured: The Just Misunderstood Guys

Nothing to see here.

 Obligatory Power Ranger Bootleg 

Obligatory Power Ranger Bootleg 

We've reached the Superman portion of our program.  Is there anything this shameless self promoter won't put his mug on?

 A rock!!  A rock??  A rock..

A rock!!  A rock??  A rock..

Why is Superman endorsing the only weakness he has?  That would be like a professional athlete endorsing his favorite brand of condoms.

Time for some sick wheels.

 Chicks dig my low slung road hugger stability.

Chicks dig my low slung road hugger stability.

Well at least you won't look ridiculous riding this thing with that free Superman flag included.

Some toys are just a little too lecherous for my taste.  Take this Superman pogo-stick for example.  I don't feel comfortable around his bedroom eyes.

 Psssst kids.  Hey kids.  You wanna fly?

Psssst kids.  Hey kids.  You wanna fly?

C2E2 2014 was celebrating the 75th anniversary of Batman.  Which means we were also inadvertently celebrating the 75th anniversary of bootleg Batman toys.

 This is a pretty cool bootleg...

This is a pretty cool bootleg...

 Holy pendulous scrote Ho Man!

Holy pendulous scrote Ho Man!

I don't know why there are two Ho Mans (Ho Men?) on this box.  I don't know why the one in the back appears to be plummeting to his death.  And most importantly, I don't know why the artist thought it would be a good idea to take liberties with perspective.

It takes more than some shoddy foot placement and an inconvenient color palette to grab the number one spot though (but that price certainly helps).

It's the inexact science of history, price, and blatant lack of preservation that separates the men from the boys.

  This has got to be the world's ugliest Amazing Fantasy 15 ever.

This has got to be the world's ugliest Amazing Fantasy 15 ever.

 Oh...

Oh...

3000 US Dollars for a copy of Amazing Fantasy 15 that looks like it's been used to wipe a hippo's ass? I like your gumption.

World's Ugliest AF15 Ever, you are The Single Worst Thing For Sale: C2E2 2014 275 Days Late Edition!