Internet Abstinence Day

I hate April 1st.  Hate isn’t even an adequate word; I thoroughly despise April 1st.  This is the one day of the year where the Internet is completely unusable.  Everyone from as high up as Google, all the way down to your uncle Roger thinks they are a goddamn comedian.  April 1st is Bad Joke Amnesty day: no matter how bad of a groaner, all is forgiven.

I don’t understand how this happens.  You’ve got people who won’t make a joke; won’t hang up a humorous cartoon; wont even fucking laugh for 364 days, but suddenly it’s April 1st and they just HAVE to tell you a stupid joke or play a prank or try to make a dope of you in any way shape or form.  Again, how does this happen?  If you ask someone ‘On a scale of 1 to 10, how smart would you say you are?’, you will get a mostly accurate answer (within reason).  For the most part, people know how smart they are.  People have no fucking clue how funny they are (answer: not very).

The Internet is especially bad.  The format gives every terrible comedian an outlet.  Great.  I just love it when people with no talent have a format where they can play a prank on ten million people.  That’s why I’ve given up.  April 1st is now Internet Abstinence Day.  The past two years I’ve avoided the Internet on April 1st.  Obviously my work doesn’t allow me to completely avoid it, but I do the best I can.  I recommend everyone else join the movement.  You’ll feel better April 2nd.

(Note: This post was written April 1st, but I refused to log on to tumblr to post it)